Intensity
Today I’ve found myself fighting the same intensity that has driven me crazy over past months. I know what it stems from as well: my earlier post about Shattered, and subsequent notifications of that post on the social media networks I used to frequent. It’s left me checking my stat counter page, looking to see if anyone new has come to visit; checking Twitter and my email for any responses.
This is an intensity that I nurtured for a long time, and it served me well for a while. It’s the intensity that made me learn how to play piano, how to develop software, that forced me to write my two novels.
This same intensity is what I’m now trying to move my life away from. It’s more troublesome than beneficial now, as it only causes me undue stress. I’m currently trying to make peace with life, with myself, and this intensity is a difficult obstacle to overcome in that search.
That’s the main reason I’ve stayed away from Facebook and Twitter (et al) for the past week or so (that and a rather nasty cold); and I see now that trying to publicize myself is the primary stressor I’ve brought into my life in the past couple of years. Now I know how to avoid it.
–Matt
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